millionfuckingtimes

2008-08-14T01:46:00.001+08:00

i've moved, yet again.

ialhadad.wordpress.com

2008-07-04T09:15:00.003+08:00

millionfuckingtimes is officially closed.

time to focus on more important things.

2008-06-17T01:58:00.005+08:00

It's been more than 3 years, but I guess it's time to let go of the feelings.

------------------------------

Okay, I have no idea why my links in the link section are striked. I've checked the codes, it seems fine. Hmph. Weird.

I need to get away. Going for a play might do it. Yes, that WILL do.

2008-06-16T08:30:00.002+08:00

Xiaxue is a Twit and Pink is a horrible colour.

Stop telling me that my blog is not center aligned. I KNOW.

My polypterus died. That's really sad. Oh well.

I'll be having too much fun on Tuesday. Haha!

I'm too lazy to even attempt proper sentence structures and paragraphing. Seriously, there is no rule to blogging. I can blog 1 word a day and you shouldn't complain.

Oh yesh. I vanna go for dish. Click me.

Went out riding with Eric, Amos and Hamster 2 nights ago. Must admit. It was fun. Oh, when I said Hamster, I meant my human friend nicknamed Hamster. Have to clarify because people like Andrew think my friends are non-human.

2008-06-15T18:26:00.003+08:00

Well, I admit. Mr. X ~~Son of A Bitch~~ IS a nice guy. He deserves whoever. I feel broken, but I'm blogging so I should be okay-right? All the best. I hope it works out.

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

I'm not sad, just...i don't know. You know...

Face Down - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

2008-06-10T02:42:00.005+08:00

Most of the time you forgive.

Sometimes it's harder.

But...

...there are certainly times where you just can't.

Being stabbed from the back hurts real bad. You ponder for a moment and realise. Maybe all these years HAVE indeed been a waste. All that trust you had shatters-instantly.

Even so, if an apology had been offered, it would have been harder to forgive but not impossible. Everyone knows. Why isn't anyone taking a stand? Why not bring evil down where it belongs? You know you've been hurt. You know there is no more trust.

I call it plastic.

Friendship has become fake. Everyone puts on a mask. A facade to cover how they hurt.

It has become a timebomb. A timebomb which has ticked for years. It will explode.

When it does, some will be alone and most will have to choose a side. Not easy. Very cruel indeed.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

There is no more neutral.

Christopher Pike will tell you of Lati Ball. Your story will be written.

Sweet Revenge by Matt Pyke

Left for dead,
This worlds so bleak,
No power left inside,
Not even for me to speak,

Hurt so many times,
But never truly healed,
No you cannot see them,
My emotional scars are sealed,

Sometimes they ask me,
Have I always been this way?
It breaks my heart to answer,
But it is the truth that I must say,

No I have not always,
But probably will always be,
The darkness that dwells inside,
Is the living part of me,

I’ve kept it in for so long,
So much anger never let out,
Struggled with every tantrum,
Suppressing the urge to shout,

But the turning point is now,
You will not be my demise,
I will uplift my spirit,
And spring to your surprise,

No longer will you hurt me,
No more pain will I feel,
This day will end my sorrows,
And break that holy seal,

My emotions will flow with hatred,
And death you will meet,
Through this day of reckoning I have realized,
Revenge through success is sweet.

So true. I agree.

2008-06-07T00:13:00.002+08:00

I need to:

prepare for an event happening this October
design and build a website for our client's online pet store
re-design Variar's website
design and build a website for Media Jive
plan where to go for the holiday with my friends this coming 16th June
START on the MagSphere website
do Hamster's assignment - which is also to create a website

*sigh*

I realise that my blog doesn't appear right. Don't have to remind me. I also realise that it appears worse on Firefox.

2008-06-01T16:27:00.002+08:00

My father is driving me nuts. This is why I am sooooo fucking angry!

ONE
What the hell did I do this time?!

TWO
I don't remember arguing with you. We barely talk unless there's a need. The last time I had an argument with you was eons ago.

THREE
You keep the notebook in your briefcase to rot. It's not as though you take it to use it, you take it for the sake of making my life miserable.

FOUR
I am not a very organized person. I don't keep track. When I checked my online Teaching Plan yesterday night on Sis' notebook, only then did I realise that I had an assignment submission last Thursday.

FIVE
I can't do Database and Programming for MP on my sister's notebook as it is too slow.

SIX
Sis uses the notebook most of the time and I end up having to use it late at night and not being able to get up for my god damned morning classes.

SEVEN
I thought you changed. I was wrong. You still are the retard you were before.

2008-05-31T19:43:00.001+08:00

My pencil case is with Victor. This means that I can't sketch over the weekends. I am sad.

2008-05-26T00:11:00.003+08:00

A friend of mine passed me a link to this video.

Watch it. It's great.

I keep watching it-besides, the girl is cute.

Catch it here.

2008-05-22T03:13:00.002+08:00

My Arowana died 2 days ago. I'm so sad.

BUT!

Bought a new one yesterday (=

Yay. Happy, happy.

Bought another one along with 4 Red Tiger Oscars and a Polypterus.

Will probably be adding a few more Polypterus and another Arowana.

2008-05-17T21:14:00.001+08:00

Stop it! Stop what you're doing! I can't take it!

Hahaha, no. Come to think of it.

Don't stop. I like what you're doing.

2008-05-12T00:47:00.001+08:00

Leaving for KL later. Retarded afternoon flight. Haha.

Will be gone for a week. Till then. (=

2008-05-05T03:49:00.003+08:00

Another song I've come to love. Very strong, meaningful lyrics.

For those of you who have no idea what "ghetto" means...

ghetto - a poor densely populated city district occupied by a minority ethnic group linked together by economic hardship and social restrictions

Listen to it while you read the lyrics out. It's just really sad.

Click this Video Link

In The Ghetto - Elvis Presley

As the snow flies
On a cold and gray Chicago mornin'
A poor little baby child is born
In the ghetto
And his mama cries
'cause if there's one thing that she don't need
it's another hungry mouth to feed
In the ghetto

People, don't you understand
the child needs a helping hand
or he'll grow to be an angry young man some day
Take a look at you and me,
are we too blind to see,
do we simply turn our heads
and look the other way

Well the world turns
and a hungry little boy with a runny nose
plays in the street as the cold wind blows
In the ghetto

And his hunger burns
so he starts to roam the streets at night
and he learns how to steal
and he learns how to fight
In the ghetto

Then one night in desperation
a young man breaks away
He buys a gun, steals a car,
tries to run, but he don't get far
And his mama cries

As a crowd gathers 'round an angry young man
face down on the street with a gun in his hand
In the ghetto

As her young man dies,
on a cold and gray Chicago mornin',
another little baby child is born
In the ghetto

2008-04-29T01:50:00.002+08:00

So as to not make it weird for the both of us, I will ignore you when I see you around in school. No offence, I don't hate you or anything.

2008-04-10T02:00:00.004+08:00

Love this video. She's so adorable. Enjoy

2008-04-08T05:30:00.012+08:00

Ok, here they are. A few of my recent sketches. Oh yes, I hate shading hair. It's messy and time consuming. So for most of them, I've left the hair out.

There is nothing wrong with her shoulders. You need to see my picture reference to understand why they're like that. She's resting one side of her arm on a bed.

Okay, this one is not new. About half a year ago.

If you want to have a closer look at the sketches, you can visit my deviantART gallery. (link)

2008-04-06T10:03:00.000+08:00

I just completed a sketch of a certain someone. Not going to post it though. Don't want that person to think I'm weird or anything. Took me 8 hours straight through the night. Just completed it like 10 seconds ago. Feel so dead now. I should really keep my portraitures to myself. Don't want to be scaring anybody when they see their own face in my sketchbook.

Maybe I'll do up another one tonight to post tomorrow. Till then..Cheers.

2008-04-06T02:12:00.002+08:00

I can't have Google Ad Sense in my blog. They say it's too vulgar. What the fuck?!

I like my new layout. Created in Photoshop. Clean design, messy codes. Apparently I can't seem to center my designs. How do you center div tags? Help me. It appears right in Dreamweaver but not on my browser.

I need to quit that bad habit of mine. It's bad for health and worse on my pocket. I've already quit the "other" bad habit. It's been tough, but I've survived close to 3 months now. Ahh, that craving for some is driving me nuts.

*Pat on the back* =)

I hate my scanner. I scanned in my drawings to post here and my deviantART account but they appear so faint. Can't find my camera. I'm sooo annoyed.

I've been so addicted to Amy Winehouse, Bob Dylan, Billy Joel, Cliff Richard and The Beatles recently.

It's so boring these day. I hate watching TV(last time I watched was probably more than a year ago), my notebook adapter is screwed so I have to rely on my Sister's notebook adapter and she's using it most of the time which limits my comp usage. Arghh. That was one long sentence. I feel so random. My entry is so badly structured. Bad flow.

Check out this video. I find it retardedly hilarious. Love it. Not sure if you find it funny though, my friend didn't. Do go through the other videos posted under the same user(Nigahiga).

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zR9Xpms5y3E

I've picked up reading. More reading and sketching, less going out these days. I've read more books the past 2 months than I have my entire life before that.

My fingers are numb.

That's a random update on me, hope to blog more soon.

Cheers.

2008-04-04T15:11:00.003+08:00

School is gonna start again for me in about 2 weeks or so. Well, things screwed up bad previously and I've got to redo my Semesters. 1 more year for me.

I have set no goals. I've set too many in the past and disappointed myself instead.

Oh, I made an enquiry to Lasalle the other day, it seems that(though their site doesn't state this) Diploma holders don't have to do the Foundation Year there, regardless of the relavance of their Diploma. That's good news for me. More reasons for me to get my Diploma over and done with.

I don't hate Information Technology(IT), I love it alot in fact. But IT just won't do as a future career for me.

2007-11-19T04:36:00.000+08:00

Listen to this song. Beautiful lyrics, amazing voice.

Soulmate - Natasha Bedingfield

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

2007-10-14T03:43:00.000+08:00

So I am doing my attachment next semester.

BUT

FUCK FUCK FUCK! AHHH! IT'S SO FUCKING INSULTING! THE'RE GIVING ME 4 MONTHS TO CREATE PRESENTATION MATERIALS FOR 3 TOPICS! CHEEBYE! I WILL DO IT IN A DAY!

2007-09-25T21:31:00.000+08:00

Chris Bangle is killing the masculine and executive look of BMWs. His designs are starting to look like the future of Toyota. The new designs are too curvy, just too "typical family sedan".

On a lighter note, watch this. That is design awesomeness.

2007-09-19T01:40:00.001+08:00

SITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Tee.. Hee..

2007-09-18T00:44:00.000+08:00

I finally have something to look forward to.

THE CAMPAIGN TO CONFER THE PUBLIC SERVICE STAR ON JBJ
19 Sep - 7 Oct
Drama Centre Theatre @ National Library
Cast: Pam Oei & Rodney Oliveiro <---WOW! My favourites!
http://www.wildrice.com.sg/

KUMAR THE QUEEN
5 Oct - 7 Oct
Esplanade Theatre
Cast: Kumar
http://www.dreamacademy.com.sg/

2007-09-17T21:46:00.001+08:00

I'm STILL doing my post-secondary education!

WHAT DA' FUCK!

Shouldn't have screwed up in Victoria.. Should have gone to a JC instead..

What's wrong with me! I'm doing my final year in TP and I'm still thinking of it. Crazy!

My partners in crime (i.e. Dee, Effendi & Alvin) are in friggin' Chenai, India. They're gonna be there right up to January doing their SIP. Fuck!

2007-09-13T04:19:00.000+08:00

OMG! I met Mr.Faizal, my History/English teacher in Victoria School!

Isa: Excuse me, are you by any chance Mr.Faizal?

Mr.Faizal: ALHADAD! How are you!?

Havent met him since like 2001 man! Had a nice chat with him. Good to know he's fine.

It's really sad what happened to him in the past though. He was my teacher, then he was an SIA pilot and then the 9/11 attacks had to happen....he's half Arab and got fired. Just sad. But good for him that SIA wants him back next year.

Apparently he's in contact with some of the teachers still. like Mr.Ho(my PE come torcher me like fuck teacher) and Mr.Maran(my discipline master come Mr.Shout and your balls shrink). It's so good to meet him again.

He brought up something about wanting me to be involved in events by the Old Victorians Association. I don't know man...

2007-08-27T05:18:00.000+08:00

Happy People
(Photo ripped off Hajar's blog some time ago)

I miss happy times. Like seriously.

The song "Patience" by Take That is so meaningful. Go look it up, scout around for it on You Tube while you're at it.

2007-08-19T07:46:00.000+08:00

We couldn't find the location where the Devil's tree was previously located.

1 out of 5 stars

Headed to Bidadari Cemetery. A few chickened out, including me. Everyone saw things there.

6 out of 5 stars

We tried Lim Chu Kang Estate, ended up hiding for our dear lives in the haunted estate. There were like 40 people carrying poles, parangs, etc outside the estate apparently wanting to kill some bicycle gang also with poles, parangs etc. The police came long after that.

After hiding for sometime, when we thought it was safer, took a long(probably more than 15km) walk to Choa Chu Kang Chinese Cemetery to witness a ceremony going on.

10 out of 5 stars

Stars represent how frightening our experience was.

2007-08-05T06:46:00.000+08:00

Sing Ho said...

"An apple a day, keeps the doctor away....
but if the doctor is hot, throw the apple away."

2007-08-03T07:58:00.000+08:00

I am raging so badly. My heart hurting terribly while it happened.

My friend laid there helpless.

Nothing we could do - nothing.

2007-07-31T03:38:00.000+08:00

This year is HELL for me! I've come to a point where I want to go on my knees and beg god for things to change.

I can barely go to school due to personal matters. It's like I appear in school once, maybe twice a week. The troubles come so often, that there are barely days I'm spared.

Last night, I worked on an assignment. The whole night I kept up, working bloody damn hard on it. Its my best subject this semester. I didn't want to screw it up. Then, at about 6.15am or so, my friend left me an message online.

"Isa"

"Help me."

"My mother passed away."

"I dont know what to do."

I was left in shock. I didn't know what to do either. My friend lives alone with her mother since her parents separated. Now, she has no one. She didn't know what to do when her mother passed away. She didn't even know how to call to arrange a proper funeral. She never expected this, at least not so soon.

So I went to meet her. I helped her call a few of her relatives to help with the arrangements. There I sat with her, trying to console her. She was so lost. I know how she feels, I've lost a sister before.

I knew her mother.

Imagine not being able to see or talk to a person you love - forever.

To Kexin, I hope what I've mentioned above explains the situation I brought you to, this morning. I don't know what else I can say, but I definitely know you are frustrated with me. Who wouldn't be ...

I am sorry.

2007-07-27T05:02:00.000+08:00

Okay, Starhub SafeSurf like totally sucks. It's a free, value-added service for Maxonline Ultimate subscribers. THEY BLOCKED DEVIANTART! It's like my ultimate favourite site in the world. I'm so pissed.

2007-07-20T01:22:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry Dee, Alvin and Effendi for a wasted effort.

The four of us headed to Commonwealth this evening to sell off my VAIO notebook. That bugger offered $1700 initially on the phone. When we arrived at his shop, the price dropped to $500, then to $450, then to $300.

Well he said $450 maximum if its a graphic card problem and $300 if it was the LCD. Since he was too stupid and didn't know how to tell, he refused to buy it for anything more than $300. I left for a second and, when I returned, it became $200.

I about to just screw the money and throw the notebook in his face. I walked out, and headed back to the East with the guys. I'll find some other place to sell it off.

I was frustrated. So, so frustrated. I bought that notebook for $3000. It was just so insulting.

2007-07-16T05:58:00.000+08:00

I created a Windows Gadget today. Wow, I am amazed at how simple it was. What I created as you can see below, streams Class 95 when in use. Basically the only "flaw" in this, is that the Gadget is hard-coded. You can stream it off my comp ONLY.

Its basically, html+xml+(in my case)photoshop as well.

2007-07-06T05:28:00.000+08:00

I tried to create one of those studio shots you always see around. Added a border, the reflection, tweaked the background gradient, etc. Not VERY impressive but good enough for a first try.

For this one, I basically tried to recreate the iPod commercials but with an Indian lady instead. (=

2007-07-05T03:30:00.000+08:00

My parents are uber annoying. They'd promised to buy me a new notebook, but they keep delaying. I was so annoyed today. Instead of buying me one first, they decided to head on to Courts to get one for my Dad.

I don't know. I somehow, don't want to hold a grudge against anyone. In fact, I kinda feel bad of how I've been towards them. Like the late nights, not really bothering about what they say...yada..yada.

I feel bad, especially towards my Dad. I feel kinda of weird. I used to not give a damn how he is and what he says. Long history behind that. But there was this one thing he told my Mom that struck me.

It's going to sound retarded but, I find it quite true.

It's about the surname I bare. The "Alhadad" surname. He said to my Mom, "He has the Alhadad blood in him. I know how he is like - because he is just like me. If I don't control him now, you will lose him in the future."

It's true. My uncles, on my dad side, are all very hard-headed. The ones that have been well looked after are all rich and succesful, however, the ones who have chosen to live a life of their own, life isn't so terrific for them now.

I usually am on very good terms with my Mom, a month back, I disappointed her so much, she cried. I feel terrible for that. I vow never to do that again. As much as she can make my life so difficult at times, I usually bare with it. She cried because I blew my top that day. I had tolerated too many things and couldn't take it anymore.

Imagine this, I disappointed my Mom once and she cried. My Dad, I disappoint him EVERYDAY. I can't imagine how he feels. I think the reason I don't see his disappointment is because, as a guy, he doesn't show it.

I can't sleep thinking of this. As much as I want that new notebook, and that I am uber annoyed because they posponed mine to get my Dad's first, I don't want to make them sad or worry about me anymore.

My Dad returned and told me, "Hey, I bought an Acer, is that good?", and I went like "Yea, sure."

Before that, I even refused to accompany them to help him find a good one - knowing that they don't know anything about computers.

I'm a terrible son. I want to be good. Maybe, they'll see it in me someday and realise it.

2007-07-03T03:20:00.000+08:00

Remember Hurricane Katrina that hit New Orleans, United States? "The Saints Are Coming" serves as a tribute and remembrance of the tragedy.

Vocalists: Bono & Billie Joe Armstrong from U2 and Green Day respectively.

The perfect combination in my opinion. Just listen to the strength of their voices. Simply amazing!

2007-07-03T02:54:00.001+08:00

Haha! Ryan thinks I'm Gay!

I managed to convince him into thinking that I am!

ROFLMAO

2007-06-30T02:33:00.000+08:00

Okay, this is my new blog address. MILLIONFUCKINGTIMES, because of the million fucking times I've attempted to do a million fucking things. I'm changing my style of blogging. Instead of the usual, "What I've done today", it'll feature some of my thoughts, views PLUS a tiny bit of my life.

I'm considering adding some photography and design work by myself as well - a form of motivation for me to continue what I like doing. Occasionally, when the cow jumps over the moon, there'll be posts on the latest technologies, programming, etc.

Yours truly,
Isa